L'oiseau Du Jour
by Madeleina
Summary: Josh searches for something to calm his frayed nerves what he doesn't realize is the answer is right under his nose. A maybe oneshot, Depends. Please Review!


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**Author's Note**: This story is the product of starting what I thought was going to be another story, but somehow it turned out to be this. I hope y'all enjoy anyway, because I really like this one – if I do say so myself. 

**Disclaimer**: Don't own em, never did – cause if I did, there'd be a few changes. 1) I myself get to marry Sam Seaborn – no one else, and that's because Josh and Bradley Whitford are taken. 2) Josh and Donna would be together, oh yeah. Anyhoo…as you can tell I don't own em.

**P.S.** – I'm going to steal a line from another author and ask that those of you "silent readers" who will view this please Review. I really do love hearing from people. Seriously.

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**L'oiseau Du Jour**

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It was pretty much a normal day, like any other day, in the West Wing. It was April and everyone was busy. There was a springtime rush of new bills and attachments and meetings and changes, and everybody was doing their best not to get too bogged down by it all. Everyone had found their own way of dealing with the stress; each member of the Senior Staff and a few select assistants had their own odd process by which they attempted to restore calm. Donna had nicknamed the process the "10-Minute Zen". Congressmen and –women and other people who had meetings in the various West Wing offices were being constantly treated to the sight of various rituals that looked bizarre but were really rather harmless, and helped reduce the stress, if only by making those around the person performing the ritual laugh. 

Josh sat behind his desk, feet up, file in his lap and warm spring sun on his back, and stared at nothing. He wasn't quite sure what his "10-Minute Zen" was yet, and it was kind of bugging him. Maybe it was the fact that he would stand flush against a wall – but he had been doing that ever since the therapists had told him it would help, so that really couldn't be it. Everyone had their idiosyncratic ceremony and Josh was really wasting time trying to figure out what his particular weird custom was. Maybe it would help if he identified everyone else's first.

_Let's start with the ladies. CJ has taken to making that face where she sucks in her cheeks and crosses her eyes, just like her goldfish. When I asked her about that, she said that she did that so she could imagine what it might feel like if she and Gail had traded places, and she thinks that she wouldn't be so stressed if she were a goldfish and not Press Secretary. As CJ says, 'Looking like a goldfish is half the distance to being one.' Carol and Margaret now do a round of patty cake at least once a day – usually over top of some kind of muffin. Yeah, I don't get that. When Donna gets stressed with me she threatens to call my mother now. I mean, let's face it: Donna probably talks to her more than I do. But when she gets stressed about something else – like a file or a meeting that she needs to get something done for – she just keeps repeating one line over and over, 'If I were in Austria, it wouldn't be spring!' I'm not sure exactly what that means. I'll have to ask her about it…_

_And then there are the guys. Toby has taken to smiling and winking at people, especially during meetings. That's pretty odd in and of itself. I think his purpose there is to feel less like he wants to kill the next person he sees but that he scares them into submission. It really is kind of funny seeing Toby smile and wink at someone, as long as it isn't me. Charlie has taken to snapping twice and then spouting off a random name of some geographic location. Yesterday before he let us in to see the President it was, 'Snap. Snap. Mount Monadnock!' I think it's his way of going on vacation in his mind. If Sam were here, no doubt he would be waxing poetic every so often, but, well, Sam does that anyway. So I wonder what his ritual would be. Leo now keeps a 'pet' bird on his desk. He squeezes it and it chirps, and every day there's a new bird. The President asks him every day what the 'l'oiseau du jour' is. But I still don't know what it is that is my ritual – and I want my own weird one!_

"What're you up to over there?" Donna had been leaning against his doorframe, watching him daydream, when he started pouting. Josh shook his head, relieving himself of his trance, and shrugged. "What?" Donna smiled and her eyes sparkled as she came in and sat on the edge of computer desk.

"What were you thinking about? You were pouting and mumbling to yourself." Donna watched his face as he sat up and put the file back on his desk.

"It's…well…nah, it's nothing." Josh rested his turned head in his hand as he watched her. Donna smiled again.

"No. It was something. Tell me. I promise not to tell anyone if it's really embarrassing," Donna laughed. Josh shrugged and stared. He wasn't going to tell her.

She frowned and pouted, but her eyes still sparkled as she got up and picked the phone up out of its cradle. "Fine, but should I tell your mother that her son is too mean to his assistant to get any work done." Josh leaned back in the chair. He wasn't even going to try and dare her not to call, because he knew well enough that she would.

Josh grinned – the dimples out in full force – and watched Donna. "Donnatella, put down the phone. You win, I'll tell." Josh held his hands up in mock surrender and chuckled. Donna leaned against the side of his desk. "I was just thinking about everyone's '10-Minute Zen'. I don't think I have one." Donna stared at him, rather incredulously, thinking that it was amazing that any work in the federal government ever got done. Especially if anyone was like Josh. "Do you think I have a weird habit that could constitute a '10-Minute Zen'?" Josh had started pouting again.

"Josh, in general, _all_ of your habits are very odd. I've stopped worrying about every peculiar thing you do – it just takes up too much of my time," Donna smiled as Josh began to look upset. "Why do you want to know if you're weird?"

"I don't want to know I'm weird. I'm not weird – I'm distinctive. I am a distinctive individual. I am a distinctively individualistic man. I am a category unto myself!" At Donna's slanted smile and raised eyebrow, Josh huffed, "It makes me charming!"

"Yes, you are in a category all your own, Joshua." Donna laughed. "What I meant was – why do you want to know if you have any odd habits?" Josh shrugged. "Well, like I told you, I was thinking about everyone's '10-Minute Zen' and I don't think I have one."

"I'm sure you do. And I'm also sure that you have a meeting in," Donna checked her watch, "6 minutes." Donna got up and started reorganizing files and gathering noted and papers he would need for the meeting.

Josh was insistent. "But what if I get stressed? What will I do? I don't have a de-stressing process like everyone else. I'm like that last kid picked for dodge ball in gym class!" Josh stood up, came around to the front of his desk, and was gesticulating like a madman.

"First of all, you're stressing over this way too much. Second, do you really need a '10-Minute Zen'?" Donna stood in his doorway. "You have a meeting." Josh rubbed his hand through his hair and sighed. He wasn't moving. "When I said you had a meeting, I meant its starting is imminent." Josh just stood there, and Donna knew what he wanted.

Donna walked over to him, and stood directly in front of him. "If you get stressed and want to kill someone, then just get and walk around the table and sit in a different chair. I guarantee people will think you're weird." Josh cocked his head to the side and stared at her. He grinned. "Okay. Yes. Thank you, Donna, you been invaluable once more." Josh patted her on the shoulder and headed for the Roosevelt Room. Now he had his '10-Minute Zen'.

Josh practically ran on his way to the meeting. He wanted to put into practice what the Donna had given him about walking around the table and chairs and all that. Josh barely concentrated on giving the Republicans a smack down because he didn't want to miss his chance to do his '10-Minute Zen'. Toby was giving him weird looks, but well, that was purely normal for Toby. Toby, himself, had already winked and smiled in the direction of at least 3 various Republicans and aides. After Leo was interrupted by one of the opposition for about the tenth time, Josh decided it was time – he was sufficiently stressed and pissed. Josh got out of his seat, and in an attempt that he meant to appear rather suave and nonchalant, but which really only came out to be kind of jerky and odd, he walked around the entire conference table twice before sitting back down, this time leaving Leo on the end of the row and putting himself next to Toby. Leo gave him a murderous look, but remained silent. However, most of the Republican officials and their aides disregarded him as if what he had just done was obviously normal; as if they had just witnessed honest-to-God proof that the theories they had about Josh going insane and hearing brass quartets were true.

Josh was less than enthused by the reaction. He thought about maybe mixing up his strategy – what could he do that would get their attention? About fifteen minutes later Josh attempted the entire thing again, this time though, he sat down next to one of the Republican aides, and told her he was, 'Just making me comfy.' Leo looked about ready to leap across the table at him, and Toby just mumbled something and winked and smiled at him. The Republicans didn't bat an eye; Josh really was disconcerted that he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted. He decided that Donna had been wrong, that this new '10-Minute Zen' of his sucked. He would have to come up with a new one.

At the close of the meeting, Josh headed for the door faster than the Republicans. Leo caught up with him in the hallway, and confronted him: "What in the hell were you doing, you crazy nut!" Josh groaned and shook his head.

"Um, Leo, I was just…okay, this is going to sound crazy but…" Josh took a second to ponder how he would explain it to Leo. "On second thought, I am a crazy nut. I got to go, Leo, I got something important I gotta work out." Josh started to rapidly exit in the direction of his bullpen. "By the way, now would be a good time to go squeeze the bird!" Josh shouted back at him. Josh had just entered the hallway leading up to the bullpen when he heard a familiar voice shout, "For the love of Heinrich, BLIZZARDS IN PFAFFENHOFEN!" _Damn, she must be pissed about something!_

Josh rounded the corner into the area by her desk at breakneck speed. "You! You lied to me. You told me it would work! It didn't – you lied. You said it would work and people would think I was weird," Josh exclaimed, skidding to a halt next to her desk.

"People don't need reasons to think you're weird, Josh, they do it anyway!" She was trying to find something, and was barely paying attention to his lunatic ravings. "Ugh, where did I put it?" Donna moved quickly from desk to desk, file drawer to file drawer, looking for the missing binder. Josh followed, at her heals.

"I asked you for help, and you gave me that, and said it would work. It didn't. They didn't even blink an eye. The only I seem to have gotten any reaction out of at all was Leo!"

"You never asked me, I volunteered. Mainly because you were annoying me. And did you ever stop to think that maybe they didn't react because they already think you're nuts?"

Josh considered this a moment. "No! No, people don't think I'm weird. Why do you keep insisting people think I'm strange?" Josh turned and shouted to the other people in the bullpen, half-working half-watching the exchange, "Do _you people_ think I'm weird?" Most of them just turned back to their work and slowly backed away from the crazy man standing in the middle of the bullpen.

Donna walked away from him and into his office. Still looking for the missing binder. "Everyone else has a thing, and I want one…" Josh started, then realized she wasn't standing next to him anymore. He followed her to his office. "Hey! Don't walk away from me when I'm commiserating to you!"

"AHA! Here you are you precious little darling!" Josh gave Donna a weary look, thinking she was talking to him. Donna turned to look at him. "No, not you, you idiot - the file. Now sit down!" Donna commanded as she shut his office doors. Josh did as he was told. "Joshua, I'm only going to say this once so you better have big, open ears, and a very attentive brain. You do not need a '10-Minute Zen' of your own to fit in with everyone else. Don't you realize that they all look crazy and you look amazingly sane next to them in comparison? And as if that weren't enough, you already do your own quirky things – as part of your everyday life – so why add to it with some superficially derived peculiar ritual." Donna softened her voice at the mixed look of fear and fire in Josh's eyes. "You are your own person. You're trying too hard to be weird to stand out when really all you want to be weird for is to fit in. You have your own odd characteristics, ones which I've grown to know. You swagger, you grin that grin, you can be amazingly egotistical for someone who just lost a debate, but you're also sensitive," at this Donna saw him balk a little, "and you're sweet in a rather goofy way. And there's the way that you wake up drunk in your office, or come yell at my roommate's cats, and how your hair gets ruffled when you run your hands through it too much when you're stressed," Donna sighed, stopping herself. "And really you should just stop trying so hard. What was it that you professed to me earlier?"

"That I don't have a '10-Minute Zen'?" Josh questioned, not sure what she meant.

"No!" Donna huffed. "You said you weren't weird, you were 'distinctively individualistic' and 'charming', I believe."

Josh nodded, realizing what she was talking about. "Yes, Donnatella, I am a category unto myself." Josh grinned – the dimple grin – when he saw he had made her smile.

"Yes, Joshua, you are. So just be that." Donna got up to return to her desk to get some work finished. Just as she was about to close the door behind her, Donna turned to face Josh who was watching her intently, "And Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Josh watched her shut the door and grinned his widest grin yet today to himself. Josh leaned back in his chair and sighed. He felt de-stressed. And then his most profound thought of the day occurred: _I don't need a '10-Minute Zen' to calm me. All I need is Donna._ Josh grabbed a file to work review. Faintly in the background he heard, "Seriously, Austrian snowdrifts!" and he grinned again.

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End file.
